To Overcome by Mary Bourne

Party pics x enjoy x

I'm sitting watching the washing blow on the line eating my 2nd packet of walkers crips, the washing going round is in time with my head spinning and the crips help the sickness. I'm feeling very sick this time round and hopefully will start to feel better this weekend. Looking forward to chatting with all the girls at CPC tomorrow for our women's brunch, it's vital we spend time together as we grow and learn from each other. It's a birthday day in the family, bro in law is 30, and nieces Sophie and Maddie are 6. So I'm resting up now so I can party with them later. Bouncy castle and BBQ is what I need. Will post some pics later. I love to read all the comments from around the world please keep them coming. Until tonight x

So 4 hours later I'm finished my 2nd round of chemo, I feel like my head is swimming and the world is moving pretty quick! Coming home to 3 kids just out of school brings me into realty that life just goes on. Deep breaths and lot of ginger biscuits are keeping me going. Granny and terry are the ever great full help today. Thank God for family. If you do not have a family support around you never forget that Jesus is father to the fatherless and can support you in those tough times. Having a support network around you is important for all of us, be it friends or family. I have never experience the love so deeply until this time of people just rallying round me and being the help I need. I hope when this is all over I to can give back. Heading to rest land now and lets see how this week pans out. Mary x

Sorry I have not blogged this week, I have totally forgotten that inside my body I have a horrid disease and Feel totally normal. I have just carried on with everyday life of being a mum and wife. The only thing that is strange is not going to work. I miss that very much and hopefully if I carry on like this and only have a couple of sick days after chemotherapy I can go back. My mind is trying to work it all out again and I need to just take one day at a time. I am finding that tonight I am fed up with living my life round hospital appointments, and being stuck in a situation I can not make better. Why does all this take so long??? I need to keep strong but sometimes I feel like shouting from the top of my voice WHY ME. I know God is in control and has me tight in his arms . Tomorrow will be a new day and my faith will pick back up again. Tonight I just needed to SCREAM !!!

Today I feel on top of the world, no sickness at all. This is my week of being free from chemo and slightly guilty that I should be at work. I am getting a little bit fed up sitting about the house. Today I have cleaned, tided, and walked the dog. ( the ironing can still wait I not that board lol) trying out day time tv, it's a bit rubbish but learning all I need to know about buying a house, why is thee so many programmes on houses and antiques? :)) I was Talking to a good friend of mine today about putting your faith into action takes courage. Only we can walk the path set before us. Jesus wants to lead and guide us, bring us into blessing, but we have to move the feet and take the steps. He puts doors in front of us open with many exciting things on the other side, but unless we push that door open and walk through we cannot have what is planed. This is faith, a substance of Things hoped for evidence of things not seen. (hebrews 11v1) Faith makes us strong and confident, but...

Phew that was a hard 3 days. Knocked me sideways but back standing again. The drugs really mad me sick and tired with an emergency trip to see the doctor. But thankfully it has only lasted 3 days and now back to normal. I now go into my week off treatment where my body can rest and get strong again for round 2! Chemo makes my skin very dry and I have turned into a lizard. My hands look about 90years old. Thank God for Olay. My appetite is strange and fancy different things each day. Today its toast. Lol Big shout out to the amazing St Helen's school in cliffe for a wonderful school fair. It was great to catch up on friendly faces and children. I have missed them shouting Mrs Bourne across the classroom. From mrs Barr to fosh you did a great job today. My kids came back sticky with candy floss and Ice cream. One thing I hope and pray is through this blog people will be encouraged and know that in any situation God is always there. I have had an amazing card this week from a sp...

When they said it was like being pregnant and feeling like you had morning sickness, the doctors were not wrong! Thank God for anti sickness drugs. Other than feeling like I'm on a Rocky boat I'm fine. The nurses are wonderful and very talented at what they do. Watching the drugs go in me yesterday was so exciting as I knew they were going to kill the cancer inside of me. I have been so blessed by so many messages, cards, flowers, dinners... The list goes on. My beautiful friend Angela and Gary are spoiling me So much I love them to bits. (even if Gary drinks out of my Cath Kidson cup) lol Thank you to everyone x So the road has only just started and need to realise that my body will need the 6 months of chemo and will have good days and bad ones, but for today I'm goodish and plodding on. Lets take this One day at a time.

Super last day before chemo starts tomorrow. Had a wonderful chill and chat with some amazing friends. Celina and James. A couple who know how to bless me. Sitting drinking coffee away from the usual manic life was just what I needed. I have been waiting what feels like ages for this treatment to Start, I'm ready. Bring it on. my body also is crying out to be healed. How am I going to feel ? What will it do ? Is it going to work. ?? Sometimes my mind asks these questions. Tomorrow will only tell. Quick blog tonight as cuddles with the kids are very much needed Until tomorrow x

It's one of those days when life just seems normal. Shopping in Asda, Strood market and a chill day walking around Rochester at the dickens festival. Cancer just was not on the mind today and spending time with the kids was so important. It is not only my life that will go a bit topsy turvy now for the next 6 months but the kids life's will have to adapt to a different routine. Spending time with there nannies and Grandad's, aunties and uncles will just increase but thankfully they love them so much. It's amazing how much they understand what's going on and we can talk so openly about it all. James said yesterday " it's ok mummy you are not going to die it will be ok." such faith and positive talking. I love my kids so much they keep me going each day. Xx xx

And breath..... I have spent the last 2 days sitting about the hospital finalising all the bits that needed to be done before treatment. My pick line is in and stands out on my arm for all to see! I have to go again tomorrow morning to have it checked. I must be extremely careful now as I can not get an infection in it. Dettle is my friend x Feeling a bit gutted that most Of my friends escape for a couple of days on a girls conference. I pray they have fun and bring me back some chocolate. LOL The kids have been staying at nannies, it's been lovely and quite, but bracing myself for the return of noise and mayhem. I have great parents who help out at all costs they have been amazing and so supported. I love how my life just carries on as usual one minute I'm in hospital, then home being a mum and then prepping for all those amazing vocals I lead. I have no time to stop and feel sorry for myself but have a life to live and I am not missing any of it. Until tomorrow xx ...

I am finding it hard to put into words today of how many emotions I have been through. It's been a day of excitement both in church and around the country. My body is not really running with my mind now and the smallest of things seem to ware me out. Leading worship this morning shows me just how much Gods strength works within us. Being a part of an amazing bunch of people at CPC keeps me totally fixed on the goal and running the race. I have spent the afternoon watching the celebrations of the jubilee snuggled up on the sofa just in awe of a lady who has served for 60 years without given up. Such an inspiration and role model for us all. I hope I can continue to live out my life serving wherever I am needed just like her. Leaving school on Friday was one of the hardest things to do and makes me realise that the next stage in all of this is treatment. I know God is always going before me and how he has worked the miracles with my Job and will continue to always provide....