To Overcome by Mary Bourne

I have been waiting and waiting for so long to finally write this final blog. I have so much to say, many Thanks to give and a lot to really appreciate. I did it, ran that really difficult race of fighting cancer. It did not win. I beat it. Cancer no longer has a part to play in my body. Last may when I was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma that had spread all round my lymph system, my life changed. I had a choice to make, to fight or let the cancer take over. I am a strong women and fighting was the only option. I have a family, friends, work and a life to lead, why would I give that all up. So I went into battle with strong chemo every 2 weeks for 6 months. Chemo is horrid, just opening my eyes in the morning was to much but managed to walk my kids to school and keep I balance within the home. You may say well done Mary you made it, pat on the back, but I do not want any glory. I have a friend so powerful that deserves all the praise. With out there help I could have not carried ...

I feel totally normal, my house is ticking over as normal, just the small problem of my body inside needs to play the game. It Is nearly a year since I was walking into the doctors and starting tests. Who would have thought in under a year I found out I had cancer, had 6 months of chemo and now in a waiting game of what happens next. I start the whole process of scans again this week and then the long wait until results day. Hopefully it will be the news we all long for. remission! Many people have asked me how I can still love God so much after all that I have been through. Firstly I don't and will never understand why, but it made me realise that God is so real and faith in him is reality. When you are faced with a life or death situation, in those moments the only thing that you can rely on is faith. Heaven becomes very close and what you have on earth is like a blink. You really do question yourself to what is really after death, and thankfully I know that Jesus gives me...

And the results are in. On the whole my lymph nodes have made a dramatic improvement but still have not reduced enough to get that all clear. The question that still stands is the swelling on the nodes scar tissue or disease? The consultant is very happy with the progress but can not give me the 100% all clear. So more scans over the next 2 months as my body keeps healing and hopefully a clearer result next time. She said that I need to keep going and keep living my life as I normally would. So I'm going to get up , put my best foot forward and lock my heart and eyes onto Jesus and carry on.

Can it really be 31st December? I made it. It's been a long and bumpy ride with physical and emotional ups and downs. It's been a wonderful full week spending time with family and friends. The kids have relaxed and have had some great presents. I have been blessed today on my 35th birthday. Blown away with the amount of messages. As I head into 2013 I pray for strength and total healing. It will be great to go to my appointment at the end of the month and get some good news. Until then I have to get on and get up, take life by the horns and keep the smile on my face. I expect to learn and grow more. Life is precious. Live it to max. So tonight I'm partying at my sisters bringing in the new year with the most important people in my life. Happy new year x

The journey is still having to be continued. It was results day with the consultant after having my pet scan last week.  To cut a long story short without all the minor details, my scan still showed some cell activity, now this may or may not be cancer cells.  My body is trying to fix itself and the lymph nodes are in a process of healing. The cells are most properly scar tissue. I will have to have a CT scan early in the new year to confirm what is going on. Basically it is to early to tell what is happing within my body.  After 6 months of being knocked again and again it is going to take time to recover. If after my CT scan there is still areas of concern more biopsies will be taken. I am feeling much better and glad all the sickness has gone for Christmas. The next month again will be long and hard, but I am positive all will be ok and God knows what he is doing. One good thing is that I have been signed back into work. This is exactly what I need. An hour a day ...

It has been 2 weeks since the last treatment now and Finally I am ready to face the world again. My body is still weak but I am now out of the danger zone and should now continue to get stronger each day. This week I plan to gain my life back slowly bit by bit. I still need to have a scan next week to confirm that all is well and that I don't have to have any more treatment. Faith is still strong and I have all trust in God that it will be clear. The kids faces are just a joy to see now that the decorations are being put up, this marks the end for them. We always said that when Christmas came it would be all over. Well to them it is and happy faces are hear again. The kids have been so strong this year I am so proud of them. They have such a happy life and I am so pleased they understand what family is. To bring them up in a church that pours such life into them, with worship, teaching and prayer sets them up in life with Jesus as there Center. Without my family, friends and ch...

Oh yes the day has arrived for my last treatment.  After a set back last week and chemo being postponed for 5 days. I'm now sitting in the chair in my second home ready to be pumped with drugs.  The blogging is not stopping yet as I have so much on my heart to pour out, but today I'm just going to be boring as I just want today to hurry up and finish. Emotion and head thoughts have been put on hold and can start again tomorrow. X